My dead pixel.

I just turned my computer on straight after I just had turned it off. I want to write. So I turn on my computer, a thousand thoughts rushing through my head. They’re good thoughts…I could write a novel. Ideas like Mozart’s great symphonies swim in my head but I cannot bring them from my imagination to the written page. According to a famous photographer the…hmm I forget exactly how he said it…. but essentially he said that the skill, and the greatness in art… and in life is being able to bring things out of your imagination into the physical world. I guess that means I’m not great…yet. (Of course.)

I turn my computer on and the screen is bright and it stuns me. My thoughts instantly vanish and my focus is on the single dead pixel to the left of my screen. Sometimes it consumes me. Today it consumes me. I always try and brush it away like I do all the other gross specs of dusk but it always stays. Always STAYS. It’s been there since the very day I bought my computer and I never did anything about it. “A single dead pixels – its nothing!” But it’s a dead pixel. Its dead. The idea of something dead in front of me as I try and create greatness bugs me. The tiny little spec of black among a sea of glowing colour bugs me. I’m sitting here writing about a dead pixel because in the 4 years I have owned my laptop the dead pixel has caught my attention a hundred thousand times over. Its one of those thoughts that seems complete normal until after a long period of time thinking you’re normal, and its nothing, you admit it to another human and you realise you’re fucking insane and you realise sometimes its not good to bring things from the imagination or unconscious into the real world. Some things are meant to stay secret. My dead pixel is no longer a secret.